The Most Important Lesson Wrestling Will Ever Teach Your Kid
We spend a lot of time talking about strength, conditioning, and technique. We have benchmarks to hit, workouts to crush, and tournaments to win. But today, I want to talk about the single most important tool wrestling will ever give your child—a tool that has nothing to do with a headlock and everything to do with their future.
It's a concept I'm a huge believer in, something fellow veteran Jocko Willink has talked about extensively from his time in the military: Extreme Ownership.
And I'm telling you, there is no better forge on planet Earth for this mindset than a six-minute wrestling match.
The Blame Game: The Enemy of Progress
Think about any time your wrestler has had a tough loss. The car ride home is quiet. They're upset. And what's the first human instinct? To find a reason outside of ourselves for the failure.
"The ref made a bad call."
"My headgear was bugging me."
"That kid was just way bigger than me."
"I didn't feel good today."
These are all just different flavors of the same thing: blaming someone or something else. It feels better for a moment, but it's a poison to a young athlete's development. Blame is a dead end. It offers no path forward.
Extreme Ownership is the antidote. It's the simple, but incredibly hard, practice of looking in the mirror after every single outcome—good or bad—and taking full responsibility.
Why Wrestling is the Ultimate Teacher
In other sports, it's easy to hide. In wrestling, it's impossible.
1. The Mat Doesn't Lie.
On that mat, under the lights, there’s no one to blame. You can’t blame your teammate for a bad pass. You can’t blame the wind. It’s just you and the other guy for six minutes. The mat is a truth-teller. It reveals who did the work and who didn't. The final result is yours and yours alone.
2. The Scoreboard is Honest.
There are no style points for "trying hard." The scoreboard shows the points. You either scored them, or you gave them up. This forces an immediate and honest self-assessment that is rare in life. It strips away the excuses.
3. It Directly Connects Action to Outcome.
This is the most critical part. A wrestler who takes Extreme Ownership understands that the match isn't won or lost in those six minutes. It's won or lost in the hundreds of choices made in the months leading up to it.
- Got out-muscled in the third period? That's not the other kid's fault. That's on your strength and conditioning. You own it.
- Gassed out and gave up a late takedown? That's not bad luck. That's on your engine. You own it.
- Didn't know how to escape from bottom? That's not the ref not calling stalling. That's on your preparation. You own it.
How We Coach It
This is a core part of the culture in the Champion's Circle. We don't allow blaming or excuse-making. Instead, we reframe every setback as an opportunity.
Kid has a bad practice? "Good. What did we learn?"
Got out-muscled? "Good. Now we know we need to get stronger in the off-season."
Opponent was "too fast"? "Good. Now we have a target for our explosive training."
We force our athletes to look inward and ask the only question that matters: "What am I going to do about it?"
The Payoff is for Life
The wins and losses in youth wrestling are temporary. The ability to take complete ownership of your life? That's the real prize. That's the part that builds a capable, responsible human being.
A kid who learns on the wrestling mat that blaming the ref or their headgear is a waste of energy is a kid who will grow into an adult who doesn't blame their boss, the economy, or their circumstances for their lot in life. They will be a problem-solver. A leader. The kind of person who takes responsibility and makes things happen.
That question, learned through the brutal honesty of wrestling—"What am I going to do about it?"—will be the most valuable tool they ever possess.
This mindset is forged daily through the work we do. It's in every workout, every benchmark, every coaching cue. If you want your wrestler to be part of an environment that builds this kind of character alongside physical dominance, then the Champion's Circle is the place.