Confidence Is Earned, Not A Product Of Tips and Tricks Or Fake Behaviors

In the fast-paced, instant gratification culture of today, there's a brutal truth about confidence that often goes unspoken: it's earned, not given. While there are numerous tips and tricks that can make you appear confident, such as standing up straight, dressing nicely, and making eye contact, these are merely band-aids covering what could be a serious issue. The root of confidence lies in the process of earning it.

Confidence is not something you can fake. Pretending to know more than you do or trying to be someone you're not will inevitably lead to disaster. It's far more commendable and respectable to admit your shortcomings and acknowledge when you're in over your head. This honesty can earn you more respect than feigned confidence ever could. For example, when I was in the Army I was assigned a new team as Sergeant in the Honor Guard. In this situation I was the "new guy". I had just been taken off the "road" as Military Police and transferred to this unit. We get to our first funeral and simply ask my subordinates,"Do you guys know how to make contact with the family? Do you know what to say?" They say,"Yes Sergeant, we have done it many times." I said,"Ok, go do it." They say,"Roger that Sergeant." No respect loss their. I just admitted the obvious. I needed more time and practice to do the job well. Approaching the family with fake confidence would have ended in disaster.

Confidence is earned through successes, both large and small. Every time you try something and it works, your confidence in your abilities and your ability to persevere in the face of failure grows. Confidence is also reflected in your posture and the way you carry yourself, which often comes naturally to those who have earned their confidence through hard work and dedication.

However, it's crucial not to fall into the trap of relying solely on tips and tricks without doing the daily work to improve yourself, develop your character, and hone your skills. This is the path to true, lasting confidence.

Confidence can fluctuate depending on the situation you're in. For instance, if you're asked to pilot a space shuttle or give a speech on a subject you know nothing about, it's perfectly fine to admit that you lack confidence in those areas. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather a display of humility.

There are three key areas to focus on to build confidence:

1. Work Ethic: Are you willing to jump in, gain experience, and make mistakes in order to learn? Those who sit back and let others do all the work will never learn or improve their skills.

2. Knowledge: Do you study what you're supposed to study? Do you continue to learn and fill your mind with quality thoughts and ideas? If you never read anything of quality, why would people want to hear what you have to say?

3. Physical Fitness: Developing your body and maintaining your fitness has numerous benefits in other areas of your life. Training can even reverse brain degeneration and improve cognitive function.

Remember, confidence is earned through hard work, preparation, and doing the things you know you should be doing. If you're not living up to your own standards, you'll likely feel a sense of shame, which is a significant confidence killer.

There's no benefit to faking confidence. Authenticity and expertise naturally exude confidence. If you've put in the hard work, you deserve respect and an audience. If you still lack confidence despite your preparation and hard work, remind yourself of your achievements and use that as a source of confidence. If you don't have a list of achievements yet, then it's time to get to work. Confidence comes from hard work, training, and studying. Remember, it's earned, not given.